One Child Household VS Two Child Household

December 20th 2013

LOL the difference is dramatic. If a picture tells a thousand words then...

Here is a ONE CHILD household...

one child household

And here is a TWO CHILD household...

two child household

One child is romantic. It's a premeditated decision between a in love couple; long, purposefully drawn out, enjoyable and exciting experience. Each moment is cherished and appreciated, from every small pregnancy moment, to the birth, and all the baby milestones. If one child was one picture it would be a husband and wife, fully in love, brought closer by their shared pregnancy and newborn baby, holding each other, while marveling at their precious baby sleeping soundly in his or her crib. Every parent remembers this time and longs for its return.

LOL... two babies is far from that... very far from that. With two (or more) those romantic special moments are few and far between. They happen of course, just not nearly as often. It's not for lack of wanting or trying. Parents with two or more children rarely are given a chance at such moments. Parents with two kids are spread thin, sleep deprived, and stressed; juggling the demands of multiple attention grabbers. If I could coin one aspect that more than anything else differentiated the difference between the two sets of families it would be control, or rather lack there of. Parents with one child have full control over most situations. You want your baby to go down at a certain time with a soft background song playing? Done! You want to set aside some time to record their first steps? Done and done! LOL. These once seen as simple tasks are far from easy once, your now older child, pokes and prods endlessly at your new baby. And that peaceful quiet 2 hour nap you and your baby get each afternoon? LOL. Not going to happen. More like off schedule and a messily 45 minutes is all your baby will get. And your nap...LOL nada...that quiet peaceful house from before is a distant memory.

I see the allure for each set of family units. With one child families it's the three musketeers. The child is best friends with the parents. The child is given the world (because time, devotion, and money allow it). Stress is, in relation, nonexistent. Peace and relaxation are given higher priority and therefore enjoyed by each family member in abundance. Personal space is of higher importance and therefore ones time and space are respected. Multiple extra extracurricular activities like sports, theatre, ballet, can be done simultaneously with one another as parents can simply take turns taking their single super achiever to wherever their hearts desire. Parents can devote all their energy to the dreams of their child.

None of the above mentioned aspects is given high priority with two or more children. Two or more child families want their children to experience the joy of a sibling (and there are plenty of joys to be had). A sibling is a built in best friend. A sibling also takes a lot of the pressure off the parents to constantly occupy and entertain the one child. Two or more child families are about "attempting" to keep the peace and living in harmony. That is their priority even if it often falls short of success. Multiple child families are about a full and busy house; looking out to the future. More work in the beginning for sure, but at Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter, in 20 years, the family presence is undeniable. Each holiday is filled with tons of grand kids and an overwhelming amount of love. Personal space is treasured and hard to obtain. A quiet afternoon is plain nowhere to be seen. Children are expensive, so money is tighter, so therefore simple time spent together is deemed more important, in lieu of more lavish dinner outings and events. Multiple extracurriculars for multiple children are near impossible so are not going to happen. At best, each child gets to pick one at a time and no more. Again, not for lack of wanting to give each the world, but the time constraints of reality deem it not so.

I could see myself in both scenarios. I see the allure and happiness in either family unit. I would guesstimate that more often than not, husband and wife mirror the childhood they once had. If they were a family of one, then that is what they know, that is what they feel comfortable with, and more than likely, that is what they want out of their own family. However, if they grew up in a bustling household, full of lots of siblings, then most likely that is what they long for in their family household. To each his own; neither is better than the other of course; simple preference is all.

All said, one child or two, each and every one is a miracle bestowed upon you. The joy they bring to a household is unmatched. Children are the very essence of love and happiness. Everyday that your growing child remains a child is a blessing. « Back to Blog